Eating Clean: A Labor of Love

I know that title sounds kind of cheesy and a little ridiculous but I seriously believe clean eating is a labor of love.

Image found here.

Why?

1. I eat clean not because I hate my body but because I LOVE it! I promise I have not changed my eating habits out of a sheer will to be skinny. It just doesn't work that way. I feed my body good, wholesome, clean food because I want my body to run efficiently and I feel a million times better physically and emotionally when I do. I have more energy...my mood improves...I sleep better...my depression improves...and I just feel better!

2. Clean Eating isn't always easy. Let me be completely honest and say that some days it's really hard. You are cutting out all the processed junk so when you are eating real food that has been processed as minimally as possible you have put in a little more effort. However, that doesn't mean it has to be complicated. Clean meals can be simple but delicious at the same time. It doesn't all come in a day, a week, or even a month. It will take time to change all your habits and make clean eating into something you can make a lifestyle but I promise you it can be done and it is well WORTH it!

Picture taken by me and posted to my Instagram fitness page.

So, what does eating clean entail? Here are the basics for you that I have laid out in five steps.

1. Cut out and limit processed foods as much as possible. That means when you are grocery shopping you want to stick to foods on the outside perimeter of the store for most of your food. Most things that are canned, boxed, or bagged are not going to fit into your diet but remember that not all of these things are bad for you too. Whole wheat pasta, whole grains, and oatmeal are all great choices in the middle aisles. Beans, chickpeas, and natural peanut butter are also all foods that can be incorporated into a healthy, clean-eating diet. Read the ingredient list and if it's lengthy or unfamiliar chances are you don't want to eat it. 

2. Eat your whole foods (those that don't normally have a commercial) as much as possible. Eat your veggies and your fruits. Consume good sources of protein and mostly lean meats. Mother Earth won't lead us astray. What grows from her ground is going to nourish your body and mind in a much better way than anything man made! ;-) Stick to whole grains and get rid of your refined grains. Stop using white flour and sugar or anything that contains it. They are processed so replace them with whole grains and natural sweetners.

3. Don't completely eliminate fats, just eat healthy ones. Cut down on your saturated fat. When you have a sandwich replace your mayo for avocado and next time you have a salad do a quick, homemade vinaigrette rather than store bought ranch or top it with some nuts rather than cheese. Chose natural peanut butter over cream cheese on your toast.

4. Cut out your alcohol, soda, coffee and juice drinks! Any of these beverages are actually most often dehydrating you, they are full of sugar, caffeine, or both, and they are only added calories or sugars. Your body needs water! Drink it! And, if you get bored start infusing your water with berries, cucumbers, mint leaves, basil leaves, and more! Get creative and make it more fun. If you can't give it up completely then limit it. Gradually cut one a day out until you don't need it anymore. You can go cold turkey but remember your body will have withdrawals because it was mostly likely an addiction. ;-)

5. Cut out your sugar and watch your salt intake. Sugar will turn to fat. I promise. The white sugar we pile on everything is extremely processed and your body does not process it. Use natural sweeteners like honey, stevia, agave syrup, or coconut sugar. You can still have treats but make it a clean eating treat that you can have in moderation and still not ruin all your hard work. When it comes to salt, chose Pink Himilayan Salt. It is minimally processed and still contains the minerals your body needs. Other salts can make you body retain water and just add to your sodium intake. If you need more flavor to your food spice it up with herbs or seasonings with limited salt.

6. Don't starve yourself. You need to fuel your body and to do that you need to be eating often. Eat 5-6 small meals a day to fuel your body and keep it from going into starvation mode and storing fat. If you want energy you need to provide your body with the means to make that energy by feeding it complex carbohydrates, lean protein, healthy fats, vegetables, whole grains, and fruit (nature's candy)!

Pictures taken and compiled by me to post on my Facebook fitness page.

Most importantly, clean eating is something you should be able to make into a lifestyle that works for you and your family. My definition and your definition might sometimes be a little different but overall, the goal is to feed your body clean, wholesome food not once in a blue moon but regularly as a lifestyle you can make your own and be consistent with.

A Will Not Mine

Did you know, I'm stubborn? Incredibly so, actually.

I don't like help. Actually, sometimes I really do like help but then I often refuse it because somehow I think it's important to show myself I can do it alone! That doesn't usually turn out good. And, you should ask my husband about when I'm mad, frustrated, upset, or hurt. Instead of collapsing in his open arms I insist on trying to deal with the emotions alone. Yeah, that usually doesn't turn out well either.

If someone asks how they can help I will usually tell them it's not needed. But, in the end, I'm human and I always want and appreciate the help of others...I just won't usually ask for it. Problem is that with that stubborn nature also comes an inability to see when my will is not actually the road to be traveled. If Heavenly Father wants me to actually understand that it usually takes a sledge hammer of some kind to knock me flat and build myself back up again before I'll listen. Most times I listen, eventually. But, it takes a not so subtle act of God to do so.

I've decided most often in life it's not smart for me to make concrete plans because just about the time I think I have it figured out I realize I'm wrong. Take for instance my two littles. After Nathan and I got married I was under the impression I would wait at least 2 years to have kids so we could get used to married life, living with a new person, and learn to bond with my husband. Instead, I learned that there was a will, not mine, greater than my own plans. So, after being married for not 2 years, but 6 months, I was pregnant with my Kamden Wade. With one child some days we decided we were done having kids...haha...grateful for my little boy every day...but nonetheless, motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Kamden is incredibly sweet but he's had a fire in his belly from day one! He always slept good but there were many struggles to be had after finding he inherited his mother's stubborn nature. In the movie, Emma Smith: My Story, she tells her daughter Julia that mothering her was often like trying to cuddle a child that didn't want to be held. My Kamden Wade is much like Emma's Julia in many instances. He fights those cuddles so fiercely at times but in the end when he finally surrenders he gives himself over completely.

After having Kamden, I just knew Heavenly Father would give me at least 2 years before deciding we needed to have another one. I needed to adjust to motherhood a little more. It was worth it every day, but definitely not as easy as I expected it to be. I don't think there are many days I have been a mother that I felt adequate in giving to my children what they need. However, that magic number of 2 years I had, was not meant to be and before Kamden was even a year old (almost 10 months old) we found out our Kaliana Brooklyn would be coming.

My Kaliana is just the opposite from myself and her older brother. This little girl LOVES to be snuggled and she reminds us of it often. When things become hard for this sweet girl she finds comfort and solace in openly inviting the love of another.

I've had an opportunity to experience the child who has a hard time accepting love and then one who openly invites that love in without hesitation, in my two little ones and with that I have also come to understand much about myself. You know what I've realized. I am to my Heavenly Father much like Emma's Julia was to her. I push with all my might against his will when all the time he's trying to help me. He's giving me something better than I could have imagined but in my stubborn eyes I have a hard time seeing it. If I am so busy thinking of my ruined plans it could  be so easy to miss Heavenly Father's grand design for my life.

That grand design is not what I had imagined but, it is indeed, what I need and because of that he is patient with me, his stubborn child, until I am ready and willing to surrender my will.

Motherhood has come to me through the grand design of my Heavenly Father. Most days it hasn't been what I expected but it has proven to be something so much more spiritual than I ever anticipated. I have found myself completely broken but it is interesting to note that while being a mother may leave me completely broken at times, it has been my healing balm when nothing else could make me whole. The word mother carries with it such a deeper meaning to me now than it ever could have before I was able to call myself  mom to both my Kamden Wade and my Kaliana Brooklyn. These two babies of mine have taught me of a will greater than my own, one not mine, but one that is indeed divine and so blessed.

This guy...

There's this guy. 

He's kind. 

He's patient. 

He's handsome.

He tries his very best to understand my complexity.

He loves me and he still acts excited to see me every day.

There's this guy. 

He's my best friend and my confidant.

And I get to spend eternity with him.

There's this guy.

I kind of love him a whole awful lot.

And, it's his birthday!

It's an interesting, complex relationship when you mesh two different lives together into one. It is not one that develops over night. In fact, I believe it takes years to find the pinnacle of that relationship. I would even say eternity. However, each day I wake up to this man by my side I love him even more. My heart continues to grow and overflow with a gratitude I didn't know to be possible.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Benson. Thank you for being my friend, my confidant, my love.

The Legacy of Motherhood

I couldn't decide a better way to start off this new blog of mine...on one of the very subjects that inspired this blog. Although there are a few different reasons I wanted to delve into this endeavor to start a new blog, motherhood is truly the overarching reason for my finding joy in the trenches of life.

Before I became a mother I had it in my head that I would be a pretty good mother. I didn't believe I would be perfect but I didn't think it would come to define most of the trenches in my life. I love my divine calling as a mother. It is a huge part in defining who I am but I'm not as great at it as I anticipated I would be.

I've struggled with it. I've fought against it. I've been overcome by it. It is the most incredible job I have ever had the privilege of performing but it has also brought me some of my most difficult challenges in this life to date. I wrote a talk for my speaking assignment in church recently on the General Conference address by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, You Matter to Him. An excerpt I wrote says this:

"As a stay at home mom most of all my work goes on in the home and many days I feel that much if not most is unseen. It happens at night when I go to comfort a little one who had a nightmare…in the bright early hours of the morning when my 2 year old walks into my room, “saying, ‘Mommy, Up! Mommy, Up!’ and so I pull my tired body out of bed and pick him up in my arms. It happens when my 9 month old is miserable with a cold and wants to be held all day so even though I think my arms might fall off, I snuggle that little one close to try and ease her pain. It is in the trenches of a bad day when the 9 month old grabs her older brother’s bowl of cottage cheese and spills it all over the carpet but instead of following my instinct to be frustrated and get mad I was able to practice patience and speak words of kindness. It might be when my 2 year old has an epic meltdown of sorts and instead of melting down myself I chose to pick him up and snuggle him close...We all do many acts each day which are unseen and unimportant to the eyes of the world but they are never unseen in God’s eyes."

Many, and dare I say most, of the things you do as a mother will be unseen in many ways but I think it would be well for us to remember that none of these vitally important things, which seem so menial in nature at times, are yet always seen and noted by the Father of our Spirits.

I owe a great deal of thanks to the mothers in my life. My own mother is one of the very kindest of souls. She has a giving heart and an incredible ability to love others, no matter their circumstance in life. She has spent her days of life in the service of those around her and most especially her family. I have learned from her example that if you have a prompting you don't think about it, you just act on it. 

I also owe thanks to my mother-in-law. She has been a light in my life since I have known her and she helped my husband to become the kind man that he is. I have learned a great deal of the gift of healing and of feeling from her, which has become a huge blessing in my life. She also spends her days in the service of others and i am grateful for that example.

My hope and my prayer is for truly finding joy in the trenches of motherhood. It is to take the example of those gone before me and to trust that I am indeed called to be the one specific mother to my own precious children and that I am capable to teach and lead them through life, despite my weaknesses. I hold dear the mother hearts that surround me in life. These include family, friends, sisters, and all those women in my life that I hold dear whether you have your own children on this Earth or not. I truly believe every woman has a mother heart and I am grateful for each one of those tender, loving women as my examples.

I will revel and find joy in the moments where a 2 year old, Kamden Wade chooses to share his cheerios with mommy, daddy, and little sister. Maybe it will be when a sweet 1 year old, Kaliana snuggles her head over my shoulder holding me close. It is in those little moments that I find joy in the trenches of a divine, but difficult, calling of motherhood.